What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
