I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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