Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
