Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
