I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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