Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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