She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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