I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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