He told me they were just razor bumps!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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