ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
