My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
