I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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