I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
birth control should be required to get into college
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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