Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
