well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
