Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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