you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
