We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
