separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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