I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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