Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
