do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
