When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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