garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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