Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
