he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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