guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
