I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
