Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
