i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
