My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
