Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
