so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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