i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wish life had little blips of pornography
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
