Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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