just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Green mimosas i think yes
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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