if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
