just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
