Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So much rum. So many feels.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
