Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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