You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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