epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
