After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
