I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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