If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
