Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
smell my finger.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
