You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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