I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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