At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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