I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
